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contrast

by shiey

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1.
(i don't stay) (i don't prey) this how it goes (i don't break) yeah (sing this song everyday) ey i be up on top lurking got no job, but it's working got no love, but it's worth it i don't wanna be a servant sitting on top observing looking at people swerving i don't wanna make ‘em nervous living above the surface come back down when they caught me (caught me) press me down like a copy (copy) swinging on me like rocky (rocky) none of that shit gon' stop me (stop me) living on top i'm scary (scary) i know i make 'em wary (wary) harmless like a canary (canary) but they just want me burried (burried) they don't want me to get older (i don't stay) so i keep on growing colder (i don't prey) put my hands up on my shoulders (i don't break) i'm just bracing so it won't hurt looking around i see nobody that's friendly (yeah) took so many insults they cannot offend me (they don't) i fought back, but i don't think that really helped me (nah) took one swing that's plenty (yeah) (took one swing that's plenty) (ey) 'cause i know nobody's watching my back (no) talking 'bout me and they twisting the facts (yeah) i know they waiting for me to attack (yeah) looking below and i see all the traps (ey) but i stay out the spotlight (spotlight) walking on top the faultline (faultline) don't respond to a callsign (callsign) making up my own plotline (plotline) yeah, i wanna live in silence i'm not prone to violence they looking at me violen 'cause i am not compliant screaming at me in distance nobody wants to listen looking at my position but they can't see my vision climb back up and i move out (move out) fuck 'em all i just groove out (groove out) but i can hear a few shouts (few shouts) police come like a shootout (shootout) miscommunication ('cation) everyone lacking patients (patience) i gotta live evasive (evasive) defend myself, abrasive (abrasive) they don't want me to get older (i don't stay) so i keep on growing colder (i don't prey) put my hands up on my shoulders (i don't break) i'm just bracing so it won't hurt looking around i see nobody that's friendly (yeah) took so many insults they cannot offend me (they don't) i fought back, but i don't think that really helped me (nah) took one swing that's plenty (yeah) (took one swing that's plenty) (ey) 'cause i know nobody's watching my back (no) talking 'bout me and they twisting the facts (yeah) i know they waiting for me to attack (yeah) looking below and i see all the traps (ey) but i stay out the spotlight (spotlight) walking on top the faultline (faultline) don't respond to a callsign (callsign) making up my own plotline (plotline) that's why i'm gone, moving on, i don't stay (i don't) im alone, on my own, i don't prey (i am) fuck 'em all, i don't fall, i don't break (nah) sing this song everyday (yeah) (everyday, ey) they don't want me to get older (looking around i see nobody that's friendly) so i keep on growing colder (took so many insults they cannot offend me) put my hands up on my shoulders (i fought back, but i don't think that really helped me) i'm just bracing so it won't
2.
paranoia 03:12
i've been fighting so far (they won't let me go) hiding they've been silent so far (i will take control) hiding ten days i've been on the road no one coming on patrol i feel like im on parole should feel like im in control i feel like i'm on the list all black, but i'm hard to miss all free, but i'm not convinced i know that i co-exist look back like "i know they're watching!" no one's there, but i know they're plotting i go above to know what the plot is can't let them get me in the optics stop myself like "is it a figment?" got no proof, but i got commitment see no lights looking in the distance up all night 'cause i'm not convinced yet i've been fighting so far (they won't let me go) hiding they've been silent so far (i will take control) hiding no one to compare a thought i know that i'm all i got no home and i won't get locked no door and i won't get blocked move quick so it's hard to aim i want to be out the frame in range so i'm not insane think fast so i can't explain ten days and i'm optimistic i don't talk so i try to listen i count steps and i count the distance can't get me based on statistics more i run, more paranoia all these thoughts and i can't ignore them i see signs and i can't destroy them stop myself, but i can't avoid them i've been fighting so far (they won't let me go) hiding they've been silent so far (i will take control) hiding so what now? take a look around nowhere to be found living out of bounds don't know where i am i don't have a plan looking at my hands don't know if i can picked this path and i cannot drop it fear in my head and i cannot stop it i wish i could switch the topic but i'm looking back and i feel i've lost it can't go further, i've done the distance can't go back, i don't want to risk it all my thoughts are pessimistic maybe i've been trapped to begin with (they might know where) i've been (all i know is) fighting (i've been running) so far (i know what they're) hiding (looking back where) they've been (all i do is) silent (i've been running) so far (i don't know where they) (i will take control) i've been fighting so far (they won't let me go) hiding they've been silent so far (i will take control) hiding (stop myself like "is it a figment?") i've been (got no proof, but i got commitment) fighting (see no lights looking in the distance) so far (up all night 'cause i'm not convinced yet) hiding (more i run, more paranoia) they've been (all these thoughts and i can't ignore them) silent (i see signs and i can't destroy them) so far (stop myself, but i can't avoid them) hiding (i will not lose) (yea
3.
make it back 03:26
(this is why i do this shit, you know?) (fear and adrenaline, and rush, and stress) (makes these type of moments feel like... just... bliss) i got scars, i don't need tattoos might be dumb, but i'm not confused i don't work, but i got my use do no harm, but i break the rules always calm when i make 'em snap scared of me, but i make 'em clap know my place, but i got no map shining bright, but i'm dressed in black go too far, but i make it back (go too far, but i make it last) (they don't know) but i make it back (got nobody i need to ask) go too far, but i make it back (shout at me, but they won't distract) (climbing down) but i make it back (i've been shook, but i stay intact) go too far, but i make it back (got my goal, i don't need a map) (off the road) but i make it back (know my place, but it got no flag) got too far, but i make it back (took a win, but i do not brag) (took a loss) but i make it back (on my own i will make it last) i got scars, i don't need tattoos i'm on top, i don't need the views been some time, but i make the news on my own, but i do no lose always calm when i make 'em snap settle down, but i don't unpack mask on me, but i do not act took a hit, but i do not crack go too far, but i make it back (go too far, but i make it last) (they don't know) but i make it back (got nobody i need to ask) go too far, but i make it back (shout at me, but they won't distract) (climbing down) but i make it back (i've been shook, but i stay intact) go too far, but i make it back (got my goal, i don't need a map) (off the road) but i make it back (know my place, but it got no flag) got too far, but i make it back (took a win, but i do not brag) (took a loss) but i make it back (on my own i will make it last) and i always run away, when it makes me (fear) lately i just feel so cold, that it shakes me (fear) i just wanna be alone, but it takes me (fear) i don't wanna feel low, but it breaks me (fear) and i gotta stay awake, 'cause i can't sleep maybe if i try to shout, then it can't speak i just wanna be alone, but it takes me i don't wanna feel low, but it breaks me yeah it breaks me... living above and looking below give my view, but take it in slow scars on me, i'm making it show light me up, i'm making it blow got one take and it's all in frame got one shot and i do not aim got so cold that i feel no pain chase me down, but it's all in vain pass me by, but you cannot move me got my faults and you can't improve me don't belong so you can't exclude me don't stay long so you can't excuse me got my goal, but i got no duty making it rain when i feel moody covered in mud, i see the beauty looking above, they won't confuse me (go too far, but i make it last) (they don't know) but i make it back (got nobody i need to ask) go too far, but i make it back (shout at me, but they won't distract) (climbing down) but i make it back (i've been shook, but i stay intact) go too far, but i make it back (got my goal, i don't need a map) (off the road) but i make it back (know my place, but it got no flag) got too far, but i make it back (took a win, but i do not brag) (took a loss) but i make it back (on my own i will make it last) (i really need that contrast between...) (between safety and danger) (when i just... stay in one spot too long i lose..) (you know, i lose the feel of the world)
4.
looking outside my window (window) feel like i'm lost in limbo (limbo) i cannot leave my temple (temple) i cannot think that simple (simple) never know what i'm feeling (feeling) everything's unappealing (unappealing) i don't want anyone near me (near me) i cannot let them steal me (steal me) one more day - can make it (make it) i cannot sit i'm shaking (shaking) i wanna leave i'm pacing (pacing) fill my backpack, place it (place it) but i feel i can't go yet (can't go yet) many things i don't know yet (don't know yet) i cannot trust my own head (my own head) i don't feel i control (control) yeah, i never felt this before (felt this before) i'm falling but i'm standing on the floor (standing on the floor) said (said), i never felt this before (felt this before) i'm falling but i'm standing on the floor i twist and i turn and i toss, i wake every door is locked, but i do not feel safe i twist and i turn and i toss, i wake (toss, i wake) every door is locked, but i do not feel safe (but i do not feel safe) don't, don't you take it away i only feel myself when i'm afraid said, don't, don't you take it away (take it away) i only feel myself when i'm afraid yeah, living in this confusion (confusion) i cannot think i'm losing (losing) maybe i find it amusing (amusing) because it's all i'm choosing (choosing) feel so mad i could riot (could riot) ask me, but i deny it (deny it) feel i'm afraid to try it (to try it) it's easier to be quiet (to be quiet) one more day i can make it (make it) it's getting hard to fake it (fake it) i don't wanna talk, i evade it (evade it) feel so mad i embrace it (embrace it) i cannot stay, i'm leaving (i'm leaving) i will be gone this evening (this evening) don't what i believe in (believe in) everything feels like dreaming (dreaming) yeah, i never felt this before (felt this before) i'm falling but i'm standing on the floor (standing on the floor) said (said), i never felt this before (felt this before) i'm falling but i'm standing on the floor i twist and i turn and i toss, i wake every door is locked, but i do not feel safe i twist and i turn and i toss, i wake (toss, i wake) every door is locked, but i do not feel safe (but i do not feel safe) don't, don't you take it away i only feel myself when i'm afraid said, don't, don't you take it away (take it away) i only feel myself when i'm afraid it's all a game
5.
intervals 02:43
(i can't stop it) (i don't wanna love you) looking out the window demotivated everything is grey and i don't feel like it's captivating got nobody with me, i can tell that i'm suffocating every other day i'm waking up and i'm aggravated i don't really know what i can do with these intervals maybe i can look at everything as a metaphor i feel like i working with myself like a saboteur living like a prison and i cannot get out the door but that's how it goes i've been through a lot and i made it back (made it back) looking at the footage and i know that i'm talking facts (talking facts) i get out the way because i don't wanna interact (interact) nobody can tell me what to do 'cause i made it that (made it that) i'm the only one that i believe in when looking up (looking up) everything they told me up to now isn't good enough (isn't good enough) everything i've done was up to me and it wasn't luck (it wasn't luck) even when i'm down, i don't feel i'm ever stuck (everything is grey and i don't feel like it's captivating) (got nobody with me, i can tell that i'm suffocating) (i get out the way because i don't wanna interact) (nobody can tell me what to do 'cause i made it that) nobody can get me it's complicated mainly 'cause i never even tell them, i'm isolated working every day, but i made nothing i'm celebrating got a lot of headaches and i'm feeling decapitated i don't even wanna think about what i'm missing out looking out the window, but i feel like i'm falling down maybe i just need to get away 'fore i hit the ground everything i got is nothing i cannot live without but that's how it goes i know that i have to regain the focus (regain the focus) everybody looking, what i see - they will never notice (never notice) i've been through a lot and i know nothing is ever hopeless (never hopeless) put a lot of working, but it's never been for the bonus (not for the bonus) living on the run, but there is nothing i wanna chase (don't wanna chase) nobody can ever slow me down, got a stable pace (stable pace) i be on my own, but that will never make me afraid (i'm not afraid) looking in the mirror - nothing i wanna change (working every day, but i made nothing i'm celebrating) (got a lot of headaches and i'm feeling decapitated) (i've been through a lot and i know nothing is ever hopeless) (put a lot of working, but it's never been for the bonus) but that's how it goes yeah, but that's how it goes
6.
(only looking up) (i've been down enough) (yeah) taking it back to the time when i had no money to spend everyone clowned me looking around me - had no friend living in town where nobody spoke in the way i tend had my dream and i knew one day i would be content yeah, feeling my best walking i puff my chest talking i see my breath and i got no regrets they cannot see my steps i cannot see their threats take on solid breath and i don't feel upset taking it back to the time with the police at my door did many mistakes and i had to pay cause i had my faults didn't know my path and one wrong step could've been my fall took my time and i made it work 'cause i knew my call yeah, feeling my best walking i puff my chest talking i see my breath and i got no regrets living above the mess got nothing to confess made my own defence need nobody's expense and i'm looking up i know where i'm going i've been down enough yeah, only looking up i know where i'm going i've been down enough taking it back to the time where i felt like i was stuck ten days gone, but i come back home and it feels undone put a lot of pressure on myself to be in front but i let go of all of that and now there's none yeah, feeling my best walking i puff my chest talking i see my breath and i got no regrets got no one to impress i don't need all that stress i wanna feel my best and i think that's success taking it back - i don't wanna forget the shit i've been through when i feel down, i gotta remeber it's nothing new looking above i always saw what i pursue covered myself in dirt - that's how i grew yeah, feeling my best walking i puff my chest talking i see my breath and i got no regrets getting back to my desk getting things off my chest take one solid breath and i'm back on a quest and i'm looking up i know where i'm going i've been down enough yeah, only looking up i know where i'm going i've been down enough (only looking up)
7.
what about 'em days? maybe i don't change what about 'em days? maybe i don't change from the polar night yeah i'm the only one (only one) like the setting sun (setting sun) like the final day of autumn before winter comes (winter comes) but i'm never done (never done) i be on the run (on the run) looking at me dumb, but i go and make it back they don't wanna say it back i will always stay intact (stay intact) never crack, but you know i gotta break away never gonna fade away always try to stay awake (stay awake) make it fun, when i play the game (play the game) they be talking like i don't where i am (don't where i am) i be on my own and you know i don't need a plan (i don't need a plan) i don't feel like anything i do is out of hand (do is out of hand) i've been through a lot and i learned everything i can (everything i can) they be looking, but i'm never found going where i'm not allowed when i doubt, i do everything to take it slow i know it can take a toll i don't wanna pay it though if i want then i make it so lately i feel like nobody understands (understands) they be talking to me, but i just don't give a damn 'cause (damn 'cause) i'll never follow you (follow you) yeah, i'll never follow you (follow you) only looking up (looking up) like a flower bud (flower bud) like a tree that doesn't feel like it is tall enough (tall enough) i keep climbing up (climbing up) i don't wanna jump (don't wanna jump) don't believe in luck, but i gotta take a chance i'm the only one who can may not even have a plan (have a plan) but i go, and i do my best to make it through i can never follow you i would rather be recluse (be recluse) make it simple when it's time to choose (time to choose) they be talking like i don't where i am (don't where i am) i be on my own and you know i don't need a plan (i don't need a plan) i don't feel like anything i do is out of hand (do is out of hand) i've been through a lot and i learned everything i can (everything i can) they be looking, but i'm never found going where i'm not allowed when i doubt, i do everything to take it slow i know it can take a toll i don't wanna pay it though if i want then i make it so lately i feel like nobody understands (understand) they be talking to me, but i just don't give a damn 'cause (damn 'cause) i'll never follow you (follow you) yeah, i'll never follow you (follow you) i'm the only one (i'm the only one) like the setting sun (like the setting sun) like the soaring mist (like the soaring mist) when the morning comes (when the morning comes) i don't wanna stay (i don't wanna stay) i don't wanna run (i don't wanna run) i be on my way (i be on my way) 'cause i'm never done ('cause i'm never done) i feel like i've just begun i will never be in front all i wanna have is fun every single day and month (day and month) i will never quit (never quit) when it's said and done (said and done) i'm the only one (i'm the only one) so what about 'em days? (what about 'em days?) maybe i don't change (maybe i don't change) like the setting sun (like the setting sun) but i never fade (but i never fade) i've been growing cold (i've been growing cold) running all the way (running all the way) from the polar night (from the polar night) to the polar day (ey) they be looking, but i'm never found going where i'm not allowed when i doubt, i do everything to take it slow i know it can take a toll i don't wanna pay it though if i want then i make it so lately i feel like nobody understands (understand) they be talking to me, but i just don't give a damn 'cause (damn 'cause) i'll never follow you (follow you) yeah, i'll never follow you (follow you) they be talking like i don't where i am (don't where i am) i be on my own and you know i don't need a plan (i don't need a plan) i don't feel like anything i do is out of hand (do is out of hand) i've been through a lot and i learned everything i can (i’ll never follow you)

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released October 29, 2023

produced by shiey

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